"Yeah, it-- no neighbors. And yours has two." He flushes. Not that he wouldn't like to do things that would benefit from not having shared walls, but he's Not Rushing Casper. "And they're ages down the hallway from each other, it would be... inconvenient?" For him, who has gotten used to the reassuring safety of sleeping with his boyfriend?
They're not that far but he's still got a point. "I want to keep being curled up with you at night. And we can always use my room if something happens to yours." In a place like this, you never know. "... You're okay with that, right?"
“Of course I am, I— I don’t want to stop sleeping with you? Not with you, not that I’d be opposed to— shut up, Qinghua. Um. Just… I feel safe with you and I want to… continue doing that?” God, he’s usually hard to embarrass, because he doesn’t care what anyone thinks of him, but he cares so much what Casper thinks of him and unfortunately that does not make him any less of an ongoing disaster. “I want to share a room. If you want.”
"I - I know what you mean. I want to keep staying with you, too. It makes me feel... safer." He's not sure how - he's never felt particularly 'safe' before, but it's a nice feeling. He's not eager to stop feeling it, especially at night.
"I just... wanted to make sure you still felt... that way. Since it's been a few days." It's not that he's stopped loving Shang Beida, but the rush of a relationship feels more... normal? He's not quite as overwhelmed as he was.
Shang Beida catches Casper's hand and squeezes it. "I definitely still do, 心爱." He smiles at him a little nervously. "You make me feel safe. And it's... really nice. And you're great. And I'm-- glad I make you feel safer too."
"I'm glad." He squeezes the other's hand gently. "You're such a wonderful person." He leans in to kiss the other's cheek. "You are a light in this dark place. And you're a gods-given gift, I swear. I don't know what I did to deserve you."
Shang Beida flushes bright red and hides his face in Casper's shoulder. "You can't just say things like that," he whines. "That's too nice. You're too nice. Nice people don't like me, no one thinks I'm a good person. Except you. I don't know what I did to end up somewhere with someone who likes me. Or really I-- I know I didn't do anything that could have deserved this, not being Shang Qinghua."
He pets his boyfriend's hair gently, shaking his head. "Only as nice as you deserve - less than it. I can't express how much I love you. You are amazing - and you are yourself. No matter how much things might try to say that you're not, you're amazing and you're... I don't know. I don't know how to tell you how to bridge the gap between who you were and who you are... but I know you can do it."
He snakes his arms around Casper's waist, keeping his face tucked into his shoulder. "I love you too. So much. You're... more incredible than I can manage to express. And I've tried. Words just... don't do you justice. I'm... I think I was just going to be more of the same, here, as I've been as Shang Qinghua, but you... I can be more than just him, with you. You saved me, baobei."
"No. You saved yourself." He can't save anyone... but it still feels good to hold the other. "You let yourself be open and vulnerable. I just responded to what I saw. And what I see is a good person." He kisses the other's neck gently and nips at it carefully. There's just something about this man that makes him want to act... differently.
But he nuzzles the other's neck just as quickly as he nips it, his cheek pressing against the skin. "You're strong. You're an amazingly strong person. You've done a lot, schatzi. You're amazing." And he's not sure how to show the other how much he loves him... he has to let the older man know. "You make me feel like I can do anything."
Shang Beida might have had something to say in response to that, but then Casper kisses and nips at his neck and his train of thought is entirely replaced by holy shit do that again.
The younger man nuzzles into his neck and keeps talking and Shang Beida heroically manages to follow the words. “You can do anything. In general and also to me.” Is that too forward? Too late. He experimentally tugs the neck of Casper’s shirt over to expose his shoulder so he can kiss it.
"I - oh -" He blushes deep red and hides his face against Shang Beida's shoulder, trying to keep his mouth shut. It only sort of works - there's a small whimper as the other's lips press against his skin. He holds the other a little tighter and closes his eyes.
No. He needs to control himself. He can't let himself feel things like this. He doesn't deserve it. No one would want it. ... But Shang Beida's said that he does. But... but he's a failure...
Casper stumbles for a moment and presses his boyfriend against the wall with a dull thud, his breath hitching slightly. He doesn't deserve this he doesn't deserve this he doesn't deserve this - but he wants it. Ever since the older man was touching him and helping him clean out his wounds he's craved more of that gentleness. "Touch... me. Please." It comes out more desperate than he intends but he's also not totally in control of his faculties right now.
Casper makes a horribly adorable little whimper when Shang Beida kisses his shoulder, which is frankly very encouraging because he has no idea what he’s doing but it sounds like a good noise.
Casper knocks him backwards into the wall, pressing him against it, and fuck that’s hot. He’s been unpleasantly and violently been pinned against walls a lot of times before, but the weight of his boyfriend against him is nothing like that.
And… oh. Well. What else can he do with a request like that, desperate as it sounds, but slide both hands up under Casper’s shirt to greedily map the skin of his back, and tilt his head to kiss his neck.
He groans and practically melts as he's touched, shuddering little gasps escaping him and tilting his head backwards so the other can press against his neck. "I'm... I just want..." He's not sure what he wants, just that he doesn't want Shang Beida to stop touching him.
"Please...." His back is as skinny as the rest of him. There's no scars on there but his spine is easy to feel, his body shivers at the older man's touch. "You're... so warm..." To be fair, it's less that Shang Beida is warm and more that Casper is cold. Still the temperature difference just makes it feel even better as Shang Beida touches him, his cold body craving the warmth of the other's touch.
Shang Beida isn’t sure he could stop his hands moving now that he’s started, he wants— touching skin fills some yawning void he had almost forgotten existed. And the sounds Casper makes are going to his head, making him feel… like he has the power to do something that doesn’t hurt. That he has the power to make his boyfriend happy.
Casper is bony and his skin is cool to the point that Shang Beida feels fever-hot. He’s so beautiful. And he wants him. Shang Beida.
“Love you so much,” he mumbles into the younger man’s neck, then swipes his tongue over the skin.
"Love you too." He murmurs back, groaning at the other's tongue on his skin. It feels too good, too impossibly wonderful to be real. "Keep... going. Trust... trust you." He does, it's himself that he doesn't trust. He doesn't know what to do with himself, where to put his hands or... anything.
He whimpers a little bit. "Teach me... what to do." Look, even if he isn't experienced in real life he's seen more... things.
Shang Beida will… do his best to guide them. Probably some of the cutsleeve erotica wasn’t completely terrible. Also he has seen some things he can’t unsee, what with the prevalence of succubi and aphrodisiacs and a lot of demons being low on boundaries.
Really what he wants is… Casper to touch him back. He’s sort of irritated at all the layers in between him and his boyfriend. Why do cultivators have to wear so many robes? But even with that… he shifts to put Casper’s hands on his waist. “Hold me,” he manages breathlessly. “I won’t break, promise.” He punctuates this by sucking a bruise into the place where Casper’s neck meets his shoulder. He is running like 90% on instinct and instinct says boyfriend tastes good. His hands are back under Casper’s shirt, one of them sliding up his chest, tracing over his ribs.
He grunts and wraps his arms around the other's waist, holding him tightly and breathing deeply. It's... difficult. It's difficult when he feels so awkwardly unworthy of this, but he has to try. He's doing his best, but...
"Ah -" The bruise feels... weirdly good? He's not sure why. He just knows that he likes it when Shang Beida does that. His heartbeat is... slow. Slow and weak, even if he feels like it's racing. It's more the suggestion of a heartbeat than anything else. "You can... it's okay if you want to... um." He's not even sure how to explain this without it sounding bad. "That... um. Felt good. Really good."
He has not even really touched the world of kink. Gay porn is considered kinky enough. He's not vanilla, but he has no idea what's even out there.
He’s very happy to be held, pressed even tighter against his boyfriend, and he hums in contentment. Mmm. Casper.
And he isn’t quite sure what Casper is asking for… not even sure if Casper is sure… but he was already tempted, so he bites down on his neck and sucks harder. Somewhere is the dizzy thought that he’s marking his boyfriend, somewhere is the simmering desire to devour him, and everywhere is decades of horny virgin repression.
He groans longer, pressing the other up against the wall even more tightly and his breath comes more harshly. "Gods damn it..." He's scared, but he wants to go further. He wants to push himself, not out of fear but out of a genuine desire to give himself to his boyfriend.
"Gods damn it..." He repeats, and he feels faintly ashamed of how he feels, but... but it's fine. No one here cares - hell, he's got a boyfriend, doesn't he? He slides his hands under the first set of robes and grips the other's hips carefully.
"I want... I want to be with you. I... love you. And even if this place isn't forever, I want to be with you as long as I can."
Shang Beida is crushed against the wall, Casper's hands inside his robes, and fuck he only wants more.
"I want-- fuck, baobei, you're so--" Shang Beida takes a breath and tries to organize his thoughts. "I love you too. 我的心爱." He presses his mouth to Casper's, brief and hot, because he can't resist, but he was trying to express a thought. He... Casper said to tell him what to do. He... "Tell me to stop if you're uncomfortable," he demands, then sets to pulling Casper's shirt off. He wants more skin.
He turns so they're both leaning against the metal wall of the room - he doesn't want to let go of Shang Beida, but he reluctantly lets go of him for the moment so he can let the other pull his shirt off. His hoodie is already in a pile on the ground, so it's fine.
Casper starts trying to untie his boyfriend's robes, but he's a little frustrated by them since he has no idea how they work. Slightly frustrated, he pulls his hands back and tucks his hands into his pockets. ... He's a little self-conscious about how he looks. "I'm not... uncomfortable, just... I don't think I look all that great? Not like you. You're gorgeous..."
"You look plenty good." Casper looks like a real person. Mostly everyone in PIDW looks like an unrealistically airbrushed fantasy. Him included, though he's got less of it than main characters do. But also, Casper seems to want his robes off, and he also wants his robes off, so he takes this opportunity to remove all the top three layers in rapid succession, leaving them in a pile on the floor, before he loses his nerve and just leaves the innermost layer untied and hanging open over his thin silk pants.
His next order of business is grabbing Casper's hands out of his pockets and relocating them to his person, with a hum of approval when they reach his skin. Yes. That is definitely what he wants. "I want you, baobei, not some imaginary gorgeous fantasy person." (Not Mobei-Jun. Even if his skin is a little cool like his king's, Casper is so, so kind.) "My amazing boyfriend."
He tilts forward and kisses Casper, then, his hands roaming over the exposed skin of his boyfriend.
He can't help but tear up slightly when he hears those words. He might be a demigod, but he still more or less looks like he did when his powers were awoken. Which means he's still a skinny and insecure teenager, desperately trying to pretend that he's not insecure about his lack of muscles or cool tattoos or anything like what he sees online - even the twinks look more muscular than him. (Not that he'd know what a twink is.)
He kisses his boyfriend back, touching the other's sides carefully before pressing his hands to Shang Beida's back when he doesn't flinch away. He opens his mouth and clumsily runs his tongue against his boyfriend's lips and... gods damn him to every Underworld but even just his lips taste like the nectar of the gods. He pulls the other close and - he pulls his face away for a moment. "... Do you have a way to heal yourself if I... um. Leave marks?"
Shang Beida presses himself eagerly against Casper, his breath stuttering a little when their bare chests touch, quite possibly the most skin on skin contact he's had in his life. And Casper's tongue and... but there was a question there. "Yeah... I've got cultivation and stupid xianxia medicines... but why would I want to heal it?" Why wouldn't he want to keep proof that Casper touched him?
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chiming
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Date: 2024-04-06 04:17 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2024-04-06 08:09 pm (UTC)From:Anxiety is kicking in, Oh No.
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Date: 2024-04-06 09:31 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2024-04-07 02:36 pm (UTC)From:"I just... wanted to make sure you still felt... that way. Since it's been a few days." It's not that he's stopped loving Shang Beida, but the rush of a relationship feels more... normal? He's not quite as overwhelmed as he was.
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Date: 2024-04-07 06:00 pm (UTC)From:no subject
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Date: 2024-04-08 10:08 pm (UTC)From:But he nuzzles the other's neck just as quickly as he nips it, his cheek pressing against the skin. "You're strong. You're an amazingly strong person. You've done a lot, schatzi. You're amazing." And he's not sure how to show the other how much he loves him... he has to let the older man know. "You make me feel like I can do anything."
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Date: 2024-04-08 10:18 pm (UTC)From:The younger man nuzzles into his neck and keeps talking and Shang Beida heroically manages to follow the words. “You can do anything. In general and also to me.” Is that too forward? Too late. He experimentally tugs the neck of Casper’s shirt over to expose his shoulder so he can kiss it.
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Date: 2024-04-08 10:33 pm (UTC)From:No. He needs to control himself. He can't let himself feel things like this. He doesn't deserve it. No one would want it. ... But Shang Beida's said that he does. But... but he's a failure...
Casper stumbles for a moment and presses his boyfriend against the wall with a dull thud, his breath hitching slightly. He doesn't deserve this he doesn't deserve this he doesn't deserve this - but he wants it. Ever since the older man was touching him and helping him clean out his wounds he's craved more of that gentleness. "Touch... me. Please." It comes out more desperate than he intends but he's also not totally in control of his faculties right now.
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Date: 2024-04-08 10:45 pm (UTC)From:Casper knocks him backwards into the wall, pressing him against it, and fuck that’s hot. He’s been unpleasantly and violently been pinned against walls a lot of times before, but the weight of his boyfriend against him is nothing like that.
And… oh. Well. What else can he do with a request like that, desperate as it sounds, but slide both hands up under Casper’s shirt to greedily map the skin of his back, and tilt his head to kiss his neck.
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Date: 2024-04-08 11:01 pm (UTC)From:"Please...." His back is as skinny as the rest of him. There's no scars on there but his spine is easy to feel, his body shivers at the older man's touch. "You're... so warm..." To be fair, it's less that Shang Beida is warm and more that Casper is cold. Still the temperature difference just makes it feel even better as Shang Beida touches him, his cold body craving the warmth of the other's touch.
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Date: 2024-04-08 11:29 pm (UTC)From:Casper is bony and his skin is cool to the point that Shang Beida feels fever-hot. He’s so beautiful. And he wants him. Shang Beida.
“Love you so much,” he mumbles into the younger man’s neck, then swipes his tongue over the skin.
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Date: 2024-04-08 11:40 pm (UTC)From:He whimpers a little bit. "Teach me... what to do." Look, even if he isn't experienced in real life he's seen more... things.
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Date: 2024-04-08 11:57 pm (UTC)From:Really what he wants is… Casper to touch him back. He’s sort of irritated at all the layers in between him and his boyfriend. Why do cultivators have to wear so many robes? But even with that… he shifts to put Casper’s hands on his waist. “Hold me,” he manages breathlessly. “I won’t break, promise.” He punctuates this by sucking a bruise into the place where Casper’s neck meets his shoulder. He is running like 90% on instinct and instinct says boyfriend tastes good. His hands are back under Casper’s shirt, one of them sliding up his chest, tracing over his ribs.
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Date: 2024-04-09 12:13 am (UTC)From:"Ah -" The bruise feels... weirdly good? He's not sure why. He just knows that he likes it when Shang Beida does that. His heartbeat is... slow. Slow and weak, even if he feels like it's racing. It's more the suggestion of a heartbeat than anything else. "You can... it's okay if you want to... um." He's not even sure how to explain this without it sounding bad. "That... um. Felt good. Really good."
He has not even really touched the world of kink. Gay porn is considered kinky enough. He's not vanilla, but he has no idea what's even out there.
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Date: 2024-04-09 12:27 am (UTC)From:And he isn’t quite sure what Casper is asking for… not even sure if Casper is sure… but he was already tempted, so he bites down on his neck and sucks harder. Somewhere is the dizzy thought that he’s marking his boyfriend, somewhere is the simmering desire to devour him, and everywhere is decades of horny virgin repression.
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Date: 2024-04-09 12:49 am (UTC)From:"Gods damn it..." He repeats, and he feels faintly ashamed of how he feels, but... but it's fine. No one here cares - hell, he's got a boyfriend, doesn't he? He slides his hands under the first set of robes and grips the other's hips carefully.
"I want... I want to be with you. I... love you. And even if this place isn't forever, I want to be with you as long as I can."
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Date: 2024-04-09 01:30 am (UTC)From:"I want-- fuck, baobei, you're so--" Shang Beida takes a breath and tries to organize his thoughts. "I love you too. 我的心爱." He presses his mouth to Casper's, brief and hot, because he can't resist, but he was trying to express a thought. He... Casper said to tell him what to do. He... "Tell me to stop if you're uncomfortable," he demands, then sets to pulling Casper's shirt off. He wants more skin.
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Date: 2024-04-09 02:31 am (UTC)From:Casper starts trying to untie his boyfriend's robes, but he's a little frustrated by them since he has no idea how they work. Slightly frustrated, he pulls his hands back and tucks his hands into his pockets. ... He's a little self-conscious about how he looks. "I'm not... uncomfortable, just... I don't think I look all that great? Not like you. You're gorgeous..."
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Date: 2024-04-09 02:46 am (UTC)From:His next order of business is grabbing Casper's hands out of his pockets and relocating them to his person, with a hum of approval when they reach his skin. Yes. That is definitely what he wants. "I want you, baobei, not some imaginary gorgeous fantasy person." (Not Mobei-Jun. Even if his skin is a little cool like his king's, Casper is so, so kind.) "My amazing boyfriend."
He tilts forward and kisses Casper, then, his hands roaming over the exposed skin of his boyfriend.
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Date: 2024-04-09 02:58 am (UTC)From:He kisses his boyfriend back, touching the other's sides carefully before pressing his hands to Shang Beida's back when he doesn't flinch away. He opens his mouth and clumsily runs his tongue against his boyfriend's lips and... gods damn him to every Underworld but even just his lips taste like the nectar of the gods. He pulls the other close and - he pulls his face away for a moment. "... Do you have a way to heal yourself if I... um. Leave marks?"
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Date: 2024-04-09 03:12 am (UTC)From:(no subject)
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