Shang Beida pours a generous amount of alcohol onto the folded wad of cloth--there's probably a better way to do this, but he is still not Mu Qingfang, so this is what he's got--grits his teeth, and wipes firmly at one of the larger scratches on Casper's bicep, where there's mud and bits of bark ground into the flesh. He tries to steel himself against Casper's reaction, but he does not like this! Pulling the Ling Hua dart out of Mobei-Jun was easier, his king was unconscious and also he wasn't in love with him!
Casper lets out a long sigh - it hurts, but it's not unbearable. His arm shakes a little bit in response to the pain, and he stays still as the other wipes at the skin. "I'm fine. It's okay. Keep going."
He's not sure if Shang Beida needs the reassurance, but it probably can't hurt?
Shang Beida kind of wishes they had cleaned these out before everything sat in them for hours, but for once he has the tact to bite his tongue on that and not just make Casper feel worse to no purpose. “Okay, 宝贝. Just— tell me if you need to take a break, okay?” He goes over the arm with each section of cloth until it’s too filthy to keep going, and eventually gets down to clean skin and… scratches with bits embedded in them. “I, um. I think I’m going to need like, a needle or a knife or something to pick some of this out? There’s like… stuff… embedded under the skin.” That they really don’t want to leave there. “Um. Are you okay?”
"... Okay." He's not like... a fan of sharp objects but he recognizes their use. Especially in this situation... "Don't worry about opening up a wound - it'll heal fast once I let it. And I trust you."
Anyone else approaching him with this? No. Absolutely not. But Shang Beida? He trusts the older man. As much as he doesn't want to do this he knows he has to. "I don't want to end up like... that thing." The bog body. Why did he think of it again? It's not the dead body that bothers him, it's the living things on it.
Shang Beida presses a fleeting kiss to a clear patch of Casper’s shoulder, then returns to rooting through his robes. “Let me see what I’ve got…”
He turns up a dagger, a kitchen knife, and eventually a sewing kit (for emergency repairs!) with needles that he feels better about. He takes the biggest one and returns to Casper. Deep breaths. “Okay. Found a needle. I… you ready, baobei?”
"... Yeah." He doesn't want to, but he knows it's important. He keeps his eyes tightly shut and tenses up. He doesn't want this, he really isn't comfortable with needles, Still, he has no real choice in the matter.
He takes a deep breath and tries to not hold it. "... Go ahead."
“Tell me if you need me to stop,” Shang Beida demands. It’s patently obvious how incredibly uncomfortable with this Casper is, every line of his body tense, but… they both don’t want bits of plant inside him, and that isn’t going to go away by wishing. He braces a careful hand on his boyfriend’s arm, grits his teeth, and starts picking out fragments of bark, flinching a little when the wounds he’s cleaning start bleeding afresh. Casper wasn’t kidding about his blood being lighter than ordinary human blood. He tries to focus on that and on his task rather than on which one of them might be trembling.
It hurts, but it's not unbearable. The quick sharp pokes to his arm... it's like when someone messes up drawing blood. But he's stronger than he used to be. ... He can feel himself bleeding, even though his eyes are closed. His instinct is to heal, but not yet. Not yet...
"I'm okay. Keep going." The wound are at least for the most part fairly shallow - there's no deep gashes on his skin. Picking it out is a little less of a chore than it would be otherwise. Still, he doesn't like it - but there's lots of things that he doesn't like that have to be done.
“You’re doing great, baobei.” Shang Beida might be trying to reassure himself as much as Casper. He doesn’t actually particularly like causing pain in general—not to real people, anyway, fiction doesn’t count—and he likes it even less when it’s someone he cares about this much. He works his way down Casper’s arm to his wrist, then gently turns his hand over to work on his battered palm. And he’s a sap, so first he presses a kiss to the center of Casper’s pale hand.
He keeps his palm steady, rolling his eyes slightly at Shang Beida. "Don't get yourself infected..." He's still not cleaned off, but he's more worried about the other than himself. "I'm okay. I promise, schatzi. You're doing fine. I trust you." There's some cuts on his hands, but most of the issue is dirt under his nails which is... somewhat harder to pick out without blood.
“Hm. I don’t think I have like, a nail brush… I don’t want to stick a needle under your fingernails that’s not happening. Um. Maybe a hair stick…” He pats vaguely at his head before he finds the simple silver hair crown holding up his bun and pulls the stick out, leaving his hair to fall loose around his shoulders. He’s a millennial, so like, he doesn’t actually feel wildly improper like this, but also, he has lived in fantasy ancient China for decades and he kinda does. Having his hair down is almost more improper feeling than having his robes off, because like, group baths are a thing. But it’s Casper, it’s fine. He tosses the crown over at his robes and examines the stick. “Yeah, I think that’s a reasonable level of pointy but not sharp.” He looks up at Casper, hair straggling into his face. “I’m gonna rinse this cloth out first, I think? And then we can clean under your nails. Um, unless you want to do it, you can reach yourself, I…” He’s still holding Casper’s hand in one of his, blushing a little. “However you want.”
He looks up and - oh. He... looks really cute with his hair down, too. "Ah -" What was the question? Oh. Oh, right.
"Okay. And I... I mean if you think you can get it all, I... don't mind being taken care of if it's you." It's a weird feeling, but... it's warm. Is this what feeling wanted is like? He's not sure and his body still feels weird from various other reasons, so it's hard to tell.
Shang Beida feels... he's not even sure. Something in his chest. He's useful, he's wanted, he's making something better for someone, and it's someone he cares about, and it was sort of satisfying nursing Mobei-Jun back to health but his king was always furious about being vulnerable, and Casper trusts him and he's not even angry when what Shang Beida does hurts... Some of those larger pieces of bark would have gotten him knocked across the room with how he'd had to dig, if this was his king.
He doesn't know what to do with himself, so he kisses Casper's palm again and goes to wash out the cloth like he said he would, then comes back with it and uses the alcohol to clean off the hair stick.
He takes Casper's hand again, cupping it, and brings the hair stick into position by his thumbnail. He looks up through his lashes at Casper. "Ready, 心爱?"
He waits for the other patiently, glancing over his arm and... okay, that does look a lot better. He's glad they're doing this. He's exhausted, so he's not really ready... but he nods. "Go for it."
For better or worse his nails are short. Easier to get into the flesh, but also easier for bad things to get to the flesh quickly. ... They're also a little ragged, cut unevenly and in some places a little too close to the fingertip. There's also some pointy bits that look like they've been either chewed or worried at. "Sorry. I uh... hard to take care of your nails on the road."
“Hardly time to care about one’s manicure,” Shang Beida says drily. He starts cleaning under Casper’s nails, gentle and careful. “Do you mind if I trim the ragged bits? It’ll be with a knife, but I have lots of practice because fantasy ancient China doesn’t have nail clippers.”
"Pretty much." He didn't really get a chance to pack a camping kit either, so it's not been the most pleasant of road trips even outside of... everything else. "I don't mind, no. Your hands are steady and I trust you." He doesn't flinch even if he wants to, just looks... faintly embarrassed.
"I... uh. From time to time I've bitten my nails. Probably why they're in such bad shape..."
"I just bite my cuticles, but they heal fast because I'm a cultivator, so my hands don't look nearly as bad at they did when I was mortal. My fingers were always all scabby my first life. Just a sec."
Shang Beida goes back to his robes and grabs the dagger, gives it a considering look, and shrugs. "I think this might be slightly demonic, but not in a way that really does anything. Pretty sure my king gave it to me and told me to stab the next person who tried to push me off a balcony instead of just screaming for him. Should be fine to use, though, it doesn't feel like, malign, just like... demon-made. He probably wouldn't give me something that would be bad for me to accidentally cut myself on. Anyway, it's sharp enough."
He shrugs. The knife doesn't scare him. "Sounds like your king's pretty dismissive of you. But I don't really care where it's from. ... I know you won't hurt me." Not on purpose, at least.
"The nerves and all... I end up chewing on nails. I know it's gross. ... I'm kind of gross." Just... in general. He's still a teenage guy.
Shang Beida comes back over and starts carefully trimming Casper’s nails smooth and short and even.
“I mean, people in his palace do try to kill me kind of a lot, I’m sure he gets tired of saving me? It’s fine. I’ve got a seal to summon him with when I need him and everything, and not just anyone gets one of those.” He pauses. “Actually, would you mind if I made something for you that I could like, track? Just in case something… it would be more efficient than wandering around shouting your and Bob’s names like I did to find you today? I mean, if you’d rather not be trackable, that’s fine. I don’t know if I could make something you could use to summon me since I don’t think you can channel qi into things, but…” he trails off, looking uncertain. “I… I don’t want to lose you.”
"You shouldn't be in an environment like that." Him? He doesn't think twice about it. Shang Beida? Absolutely not.
He goes quiet when the other asks his question, letting him ramble a little bit until he comes to a natural stopping point. "I don't want to lose you either, schatzi. ... I don't mind you tracking me. Better you than the police or something - I've had enough of escaping out of cop cars and..."
Not the point. "... I don't mind. What kind of thing were you thinking?"
Shang Beida shrugs. “I was in for it as soon as I woke up as the baby that would be Shang Qinghua. And I didn’t want to kill my king, the time I did have the opportunity… the System wasn’t stopping me, but he was just—“ He blushes a little. “He was so pretty, like I wrote him to be, I couldn’t. But anyway, being a cultivator is fairly cutthroat too, it’s just no one cares about An Ding so I’m a little more out of danger there than I am surrounded by demons that resent my position as an advisor to Mobei-Jun. But I’m used to it, it’s fine. Sha Hualing would have skinned me three times over by now if I didn’t have some situational awareness.”
He brightens, beaming at Casper when he agrees. “I don’t know if it would be weird for you to wear a hair ornament or a pendant or something? I’ve got some spare jewelry I could carve a talisman into, but I could figure something else out if… I know modern western men don’t really wear jewelry… The pendants aren’t really showy, but…”
"Shang Beida..." He sighs and just... fine. He isn't going to get anywhere with this. They can come back to it later. He will come back to it later. Why'd you write the world like that?
Anyway. "Uh... well, I mean." He touches his bone necklace. "I already wear a necklace, so like... another one wouldn't be that weird?" Probably? Maybe? He's not sure. No telling how observant people are here. "I don't know if my hair is long enough for an ornament or something like that. Not like yours is."
Oh, he... feels some kind of way hearing his name, still, even exasperated like that. He's not actually sure what Casper is annoyed about? "I'm fine? It's fine."
"Yeah, a hair crown probably wouldn't work. A pin or something could maybe, or something braided in... but that would be, uh... sort of showy. But I think I've got at least one pendant that's purely decorative that I could repurpose into a necklace--mostly they're for like, around the waist, but your clothes aren't really--like, it does not work with jeans the way it does with robes, you don't have the same kind of belts."
"Yeah... no, I kind of... my jeans are tight enough, I don't need to make a belt." His jeans are a little small on him. But it's been a while since he's gotten clothes - partially due to being busy, partially due to... well. It's not like his dad is going to clothes shop for him.
Shang Beida isn't... not looking at how tight Casper's jeans are, now. He catches himself and looks back at Casper's hand, which is safer, blushing a little. "Um, I, yeah. You-- probably don't need a belt." He really does not need a belt. His jeans are a little too small and he could probably use better fitting clothes, but also, Shang Beida isn't not enjoying the view as it stands. "So, um. Pendant. Yeah. Unless you have a burning desire to wear my spare robes."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
no subject
He's not sure if Shang Beida needs the reassurance, but it probably can't hurt?
no subject
no subject
Anyone else approaching him with this? No. Absolutely not. But Shang Beida? He trusts the older man. As much as he doesn't want to do this he knows he has to. "I don't want to end up like... that thing." The bog body. Why did he think of it again? It's not the dead body that bothers him, it's the living things on it.
no subject
He turns up a dagger, a kitchen knife, and eventually a sewing kit (for emergency repairs!) with needles that he feels better about. He takes the biggest one and returns to Casper. Deep breaths. “Okay. Found a needle. I… you ready, baobei?”
no subject
He takes a deep breath and tries to not hold it. "... Go ahead."
no subject
no subject
"I'm okay. Keep going." The wound are at least for the most part fairly shallow - there's no deep gashes on his skin. Picking it out is a little less of a chore than it would be otherwise. Still, he doesn't like it - but there's lots of things that he doesn't like that have to be done.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
"Okay. And I... I mean if you think you can get it all, I... don't mind being taken care of if it's you." It's a weird feeling, but... it's warm. Is this what feeling wanted is like? He's not sure and his body still feels weird from various other reasons, so it's hard to tell.
no subject
He doesn't know what to do with himself, so he kisses Casper's palm again and goes to wash out the cloth like he said he would, then comes back with it and uses the alcohol to clean off the hair stick.
He takes Casper's hand again, cupping it, and brings the hair stick into position by his thumbnail. He looks up through his lashes at Casper. "Ready, 心爱?"
no subject
For better or worse his nails are short. Easier to get into the flesh, but also easier for bad things to get to the flesh quickly. ... They're also a little ragged, cut unevenly and in some places a little too close to the fingertip. There's also some pointy bits that look like they've been either chewed or worried at. "Sorry. I uh... hard to take care of your nails on the road."
no subject
no subject
"I... uh. From time to time I've bitten my nails. Probably why they're in such bad shape..."
no subject
Shang Beida goes back to his robes and grabs the dagger, gives it a considering look, and shrugs. "I think this might be slightly demonic, but not in a way that really does anything. Pretty sure my king gave it to me and told me to stab the next person who tried to push me off a balcony instead of just screaming for him. Should be fine to use, though, it doesn't feel like, malign, just like... demon-made. He probably wouldn't give me something that would be bad for me to accidentally cut myself on. Anyway, it's sharp enough."
no subject
"The nerves and all... I end up chewing on nails. I know it's gross. ... I'm kind of gross." Just... in general. He's still a teenage guy.
no subject
“I mean, people in his palace do try to kill me kind of a lot, I’m sure he gets tired of saving me? It’s fine. I’ve got a seal to summon him with when I need him and everything, and not just anyone gets one of those.” He pauses. “Actually, would you mind if I made something for you that I could like, track? Just in case something… it would be more efficient than wandering around shouting your and Bob’s names like I did to find you today? I mean, if you’d rather not be trackable, that’s fine. I don’t know if I could make something you could use to summon me since I don’t think you can channel qi into things, but…” he trails off, looking uncertain. “I… I don’t want to lose you.”
no subject
He goes quiet when the other asks his question, letting him ramble a little bit until he comes to a natural stopping point. "I don't want to lose you either, schatzi. ... I don't mind you tracking me. Better you than the police or something - I've had enough of escaping out of cop cars and..."
Not the point. "... I don't mind. What kind of thing were you thinking?"
no subject
He brightens, beaming at Casper when he agrees. “I don’t know if it would be weird for you to wear a hair ornament or a pendant or something? I’ve got some spare jewelry I could carve a talisman into, but I could figure something else out if… I know modern western men don’t really wear jewelry… The pendants aren’t really showy, but…”
no subject
Anyway. "Uh... well, I mean." He touches his bone necklace. "I already wear a necklace, so like... another one wouldn't be that weird?" Probably? Maybe? He's not sure. No telling how observant people are here. "I don't know if my hair is long enough for an ornament or something like that. Not like yours is."
no subject
"Yeah, a hair crown probably wouldn't work. A pin or something could maybe, or something braided in... but that would be, uh... sort of showy. But I think I've got at least one pendant that's purely decorative that I could repurpose into a necklace--mostly they're for like, around the waist, but your clothes aren't really--like, it does not work with jeans the way it does with robes, you don't have the same kind of belts."
no subject
no subject
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
cw: ptsd trauma response
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)