helborn | (Reply)

Shang Beida curls into Casper's side, eyes closing involuntarily when the younger man starts stroking his hair. It's actually a little hard to keep his train of thought but that absolutely does not mean he wants his boyfriend to stop. "I don't know how to, make anything better or, I'm not like actually good at social, like, anything really, which is part of why no one likes me, but you like me, and I like you so much, and I just want to... be with you, however you-- I'm durable, if you freak out and hit me by accident it's fine, I'm used to being hit on purpose, it's not a big deal! I'm hard to damage! But I like you and I want you to be happy and I-- holy shit I really like, this, touching you, I've written like the touch starved trope before but I didn't realize how much of a real thing it was, and no one's really touched me except to hit me in decades, but now you're, you want to touch me like this, and you're not weak or a failure or-- being soft isn't bad, because I'm pretty sure that means caring about people, and caring is one of the ways you're better than me, because I'm really not a good person like you are, and I don't know how relationships work either, I've never... anything... and I'm pretty sure everything I wrote was stupid and terrible though there was a lot of swooning and I did sort of feel like swooning when your wings-- nevermind, I mean, just, um. We can. Try and figure it out together?" He's warm and comfortable and safe and his guard is down and his stream of consciousness is just coming out of his mouth.