"No, I..." He sighs and closes his eyes. He doesn't want Shang Beida to see the tears welling up, even though he can probably tell. "I just... I just... I know I'm broken and miserable and awful and I'm sorry that you're... having to deal with all of this..."

His voice cracks and he lets go of the other's face, dropping his head and biting his lip. "I'm sorry... if I hadn't been - if I hadn't gotten myself hurt..."